Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
