is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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