dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize