We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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