Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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