U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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