Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
