no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
