just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I intend to get homeless drunk
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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