You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
