I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
