Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
