It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
nutella sex= disaster
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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