omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
