Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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