I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
