Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
