He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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