I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Fuck appropriateness.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
