i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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