I want to stick my p in your. b.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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