How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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