Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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