If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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