i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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