My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
