i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
