Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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