I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
