First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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