YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize