i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
