Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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