In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
