I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
