I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
