I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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