so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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