i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
