the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize