i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
where does the pee come out of this thing
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
