I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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