I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
