who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
