You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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