I can't watch pbs sober anymore
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
