just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
