the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
