Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
