new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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