Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
