Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
