you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
