yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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