i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
