dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
last night I used snow as a chaser
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