My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
