Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
