I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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