yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
