Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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