I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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