Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
