dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
