I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
