I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
