well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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